I wanted to talk to you and figure out why we aren't together. I even told you we need to talk and I meant it but then I woke up this morning and my self preservation told me not to. I wanted to tell you that I love you and I miss you and that I would like for you to give us another chance and not give up. Its just I don't understand how if you are telling me that you love me and miss me and the family we were; if you're telling me how hurt you would be if I dated a friend of mine and telling me how pretty I look and that I'm beautiful, and how you're constantly stressed out to the point that you're getting sick in part by me, then why aren't you with me? Why are you forcing yourself that hard not to be with me? Was I really that terrible to you that you would rather put yourself through that much pain? Or is it maybe all a lie, a game to play with me to make me think you care anymore when you probably don't? If this is that, if it is a game to you please stop. I do love you and I'm hoping you do too, hoping that you love me as much as I do you. If you want to be with me like you've said, then why don't you? Why keep pushing me out of your life when its from what you've told me so obvious that it is not what you want? Can't you see it? You want to be with me and I want to be with you so stop pushing me away please because I can only be pushed to far.
I love you,
Samantha
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