Aside from my newly found writing I have also enlisted the help of movies to help me see a future without you that is hard for me to see on my own. I must say it helps, for that moment in time it helps. I know you don't think this way but you need to understand that emotional cheating is just the same as physical if not that then its worse. It's worse because you can't change your emotions, you can't change sex if you were to have cheated but you can stop it and move forward from it. Emotionally cheating you can't escape and you can't change it because all you want is that in which the other person hasn't given you. I feel guilty for that. I feel like I'm the reason you searched for that comfort elsewhere but, I'm also furious with you because all the time you were hurting me I never searched for comfort from anyone. I never wanted it from anyone other than you. I wondered if I had just left it alone and let you continue doing what you were doing if it would have been better or would I have then seeked that same kind of comfort myself from another man. What would that have solved then?
With all my love,